Kilt

This blog post has been a long time coming. I’d promised myself at Eroticon 2018 that I’d write more. You know what they say about the road to hell… as I’m probably going there anyway, I might as well take full advantage.

At both Eroticon 2017 and Eroticon 2018, I’d seen, and admired, the utility kilt that the rep from Hot Octopus was wearing -resolving to buy or make myself one on both occasions. I had a Conversation with the lovely Drew Bigglestone, of Luke and Jack (another kilt admirer) and we’d both decided that we should try and encourage as many of the men going to Eroticon 2019 to sport their legs and wear a kilt with pride.

As luck would have it, my mother was a seamstress before her stroke, so she made sure that I was capable behind a sewing machine. Nothing fancy, just how to repair seams, sew on buttons, make curtains, and hem trousers. All the basics. However, I’d never really made much in the way of clothing from start to finish. Sure, plenty of bags, pillow cases -even assisting in completely reupholstering and entire pub’s worth of chairs and bench seats. But that was nearly three decades ago.

For my 40th birthday I’d asked for a sewing machine. My daughter was just two at the time, but I’d foreseen a time when I’d have to make her clothes, either for school or dress-up. Now that she is already 5’4″ and still not in secondary school, I can see me making more and more.

Initially, my S.O. and I had used this machine often to alter hand-me-downs and make Supergirl costumes. Then the machine sat idle for two years. That is until Eroticon 2018. After seeing that kilt again, a seed had begun to grow in my mind. I’d looked online and the nice ones were all quite pricey. A genuine, woollen kilt will easily set you back £300. A decent looking utility kilt however, typically costs around £40, rising to £200 for something more fashionable. I’ve got a sewing machine. I’ve got the skills right? At some point I’m going to HAVE to make my kids school uniform skirts (she’s already in women’s size 8-10 skirts. She’s tall like me). One thing for it -and a good excuse to boot. I’ll make my own kilt as “a learning exercise” for making the wee one’s bits. Hehe.

I looked around and I found a rather nice and informative article on Instructables by UglyMike. I’m not going to go into the full ‘how I did it’ here. If you really want to know how to make one, check out the article on Instructables.

First step was to measure up how much material to buy. You measure the distance from the middle of the knee to the belly button, as well as the measurement around the body at this point -not the waist size. Interestingly, the length from knee to belly is only an inch difference between my daughter and myself. Oh bugger. Off to the haberdashery store.

Next job was to pick out the fabric. I toyed with the idea of something in a funky colour, but ultimately I bottled it, and as I was also looking to keep the cost down, I went for a plain black viscous cotton blend, kidding myself that I’d use the rest for a skirt for my kid. I still haven’t made her hers.

Once all the fabric was cut and measured, I took it into the workshop to lay it out and pin it out on the long bench. My co-workers have long since given up trying to figure out what hairbrained idea I’m bringing to fruition, this time actually helping out with checking the pinned garment for fit. Yay! Finally. It’s only taken me ten years to corrupt them to my way of thinking. Next, I’ll be using one of them as a mannequin. Hehehe.

Making the waist band, sewing down the pleats and finally finishing my first attempt took a few hours over two evenings. Not a great fit, but I put that mostly down to not enough material. Unfortunately, the haberdashery store where I bought the material, short changed me by a good 3/4 of a metre. I should have watched the old girl more closely before she cut. I could have sewn in a panel here and there, but that would have left me short for the kilt that I’d promised the not-so-little one.

Do I enjoy wear it? ABSOLUTELY! I love wearing a kilt-so much so that I now own four of them, with another having caught my eye. The freedom for the boys is indescribable. Walking along the beach this summer, with my pleats flapping in the wind and my balls swinging from side to side was both liberating and empowering.

It takes more than a little bravado and confidence in yourself to actually wear a kilt in public. What society considers the norm in what women and men can and cannot wear needs to change. Do I care what people think or say when I’ve worn it shopping around ASDA? Not a bit. That’s the best thing about approaching fifty. You no longer give a flying fuck what people think. Being over six foot tall and weighing 220lbs also means they rarely say it to my face.

 

Showing off my Utility Kilt on the Beach

Now all I need to do is practice like these guys.